Sometimes I wonder why the family unit, neighborhoods and communities have been so systematically diminished in our modern world. Many say that one reason may be that it's easier for governments to manipulate and "direct" (control) their populace, if its citizens are isolated and lacking in strength and support. Sort of like abusive men like to see their women.
With more mothers working - sometimes as early as six weeks after their babies are born, children are put in daycare, or in the care of someone other than their mothers from a very early age. Family bonding suffers. Those who can afford it, and choose to go to work when their kids are older, often choose to do so when their kids are 12 or 13 and many mothers say that by that age a kid should be able to be home alone . That seems to me to be an age when more than ever someone should be around and available for kids who are impulsive and inexperienced in life to help them make good choices and to interpret events in their lives realistically.
The kids who planned and staged the shoot-outs which we keep seeing in the media were older. Under what supervision did they make their plans and preparations ?
I'm reading a wonderful book about elders called Another Country. Mary Pipher, the writer who also wrote Raising Ophelia notes that in post modern society an inordinate focus is placed on independence, and that this warps the idea of what mature adulthood entails. The heroes and heroines of our movies, books and tv shows are often solitary brooding types who need no one. And in turn, these ideas of autonomy and self sufficiency further erode the interdependency which is the reality of life and of family and community life in particular.
As Pipher says " Just at a time when children most need guidance from parents they turn to their peers and media."Elders used to be valued members of society who could step in and be there for the kids in the family when circumstances called for extended family involvement. These days elders are called oldsters and often really either ridiculed or infantilized. Dignity an appreciation for the possible lessons our elders may have learned and the wisdom these lessons may have brought are in short supply, as are the connections between all generations which once wove the fabric of our society. Age segregation has fostered an artificial isolation where the young run in packs and are brought up by people who take care of them for money and not from love, movies, tv shows, song lyrics... The old are moved to senior villages, assisted living homes, nursing homes, but few live in real homes with several generations present. The middle aged work to make money for whatever corporation their work serves, unless they have their own business which then enslaves them in the capitalist dream of great riches and material wealth. The result is that not only families but individuals are fragmented and isolated and missing the riches of the heart such as warm loving connections and family ties which in this "no strings attached society" are no longer valued but which throughout history have formed the fabric of our lives.
Why not make a vow and an effort to turn this around for the future generations, so that they may be anchored and grounded in the strong family and community foundations of the past ? For those who tend to bemoan the present state of the world and it's future this could be a real and constructive plan of action which moves beyond censure and criticism into a grass roots, self directed and implemented social reform, occupying our own homes, families, communities and lives. A movement undermined by what we have come to view as the powers that be in our world, a movement which would reclaim our power as human and social beings, and which may be more difficult to disperse than Occupy Wall Street.
